Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Random Thoughts

Moving day is getting closer. Part of me is totally excited, while the other part is wondering what I'm doing. Leaving my friends and especially my family (Kevin, Troy, Liz, etc.) is turning out to be harder then I thought. My relationship with my cousins down here has grown immensely. I will miss them more then anything!

On the other hand, I get to be closer to others of my family. I'm thrilled to be closer to Emily and Auntie Cas. Hopefully I'll get to strengthen those relationships that have been on hold for the last 3 years. :D

So many thoughts. Trying to put thoughts into words was never my strong point.

A few things left to pack. Only a few pictures left on my wall. They're the only things left that make the apartment feel like home. Only 3 weeks left.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Ready For A Change?

So, it's time for another life changing event. Looks like Randy and I have decided to move north to Tooele. Totally random and unexpected move. I'm still trying to decide how I really feel about it. On one hand, there is nothing for Randy down here. No jobs, no future, no family. He feels like he's stuck in a rut. I don't blame him. At times, I have felt this way too. Target has been pretty good to me. We've always had enough to just scrape by. Insurance is covered through Target, we're on our own, doing what we want. How much of that will change when we move? If I can't get a transfer, we loose our insurance. Randy is quitting Target, so how long will it take for him to find another job? Will this job be better then Target? Or will we be S.O.L.? So many questions that need answers. But those answers won't come until we take this huge leap. Well God, I am now leaving my life in your hands. My faith and trust is completely in You! Maybe that's what needs to be learned from this move. Maybe I need to learn to trust in the Lord more. Here goes nothing!

Friday, August 22, 2008

Life's Trials.

Just before Father's Day a few months ago, I was surprised and excited to get a (+) on the pregnancy test I took. Randy and I were totally thrilled, only to have our hopes crushed a few days later. Not even a week after we went to the Dr. to confirm it, a trip to the E.R. interrupted our plans.
"Spontaneous abortion", they called it. Those words have ripped my heart apart. To me, abortion has always meant "getting rid of a problem or unwanted item." This child, to me, was neither of those. Why is it still so hard to move on? Why doesn't my heart still hurt? We've thought about trying again, picking up where we left off, and hope each month for that (+) test. Granted, it's only been 2, 2 1/2 months since the miscarriage, but still, I'm devastated when AF shows up.
Is it worth it to keep trying? My heart yearns to hold my baby. Does the pain ever stop? Will we ever get that chance?

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Merrill Family Reunion

Just a few pics from the 2008 Merrill Family Reunion. July 1-4, 2008 at the Southern Utah University Mountain Lodge.

Dave & Lynda's Family - Kevin, Ryan & Christina, Taydan, Jerek, Troy & Liz, Sarah, Jimmy, Cameron, Dustin



























Jerry & Jean -










Deloy, Sharon, Andrea and Mason -














Belinda & Keith, Jonathan & Wife, Jenny, Debbie









Keith made a solar oven out of card board boxes and tinfoil. Then, since he had lunch duty, he decided to cook hot dogs with it. They turned out pretty good! You would think they were cooked on the stove. Yea Keith!










Lynette & Doug















Nadine & Dan, Karen & Randy, Melissa, Braydan, Cayson, Emily














Randy and I took Brayday, Cayson, Colton and Melissa snipe hunting. We caught one, but it bit Randy, so Randy beat it to death. We brought it back to the cabin to show everyone what we caught.















Rick, Shelly & Jared





Casandra & Lanny, Kelsi & Brian, Brooklyn, Kenzie and Colton




Sunday, July 27, 2008

Back to the Begining

Housing dreams have now gone down the drain. Our realtor was a fraud, and now we can't afford anything. We can't afford to move, we can't afford to stay. What do we do. We are in limbo right now. I'm so frustrated at the moment. What's the deal? Why must people be so dishonest and crush the hopes and dreams of others? How come we can't all just get along?

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Words To Live By

Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.

I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to 'cut back the calories'. From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible!

How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word 'refrigeration' mean nothing to you?

How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched 'Who wants to be a millionaire' on television?

I cannot count the times I called my sister and said, 'How about going to lunch in a half hour?' She would gas up and stammer, 'I can't. I have clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain.' And my personal favorite: 'It's Monday.' She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together.

Because we cram so much into our lives, we tend to even schedule our headaches. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect!

We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Steve toilet-trained.. We'll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet. We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college.

Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of 'I'm going to,' 'I plan on,' and 'Someday, when things are settled down a bit.'

When anyone calls my 'seize the moment' friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of roller blades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord.

My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy..

Now go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to...not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?

Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask 'How are you?' do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? Ever told your child, 'We'll do it tomorrow.' And in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say 'Hi?

When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift....Thrown away. ... Life is not a race. Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over.

'Life may not be the party we hoped for... but while we are here we might as well dance!'

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Life Is Full Of Change

Randy and I have been thinking about moving up north a lot this year. We miss family and friends that are up there, there are more job opportunities, and we just feel like it's the right thing to do at this point in our lives. The biggest problems about moving though, are housing and employment. Granted, Target could transfer us up north, but I would most likely be demoted, and have a pay cut. Could we afford somewhere to live if I took a pay cut? I don't know.



Well, today, my sister informed me that she and a friend had found a lot out in Sandy that was conveniently in Randy's and my price range. She said that her friend, being in the real estate business, could build us a home on this lot, and we could do a rent to own kind of a deal.


Let's elaborate a little on the house they want to build. It would be very similar to the model home that they visited. There would be 3 bedrooms up stairs. and 3 in the unfinished basement. It would have a 2 car garage, a living room and a great room, a LAUNDRY ROOM (yea laundry! ha ha) and a decent size yard. And it would be ours! No more renting, well, for the most part. My sister's friend said he purchased the land today. He could start building as soon as contracts are signed.


I don't know whether to be excited (which I am) or scared (which I also am). The thought of owning a home excites me. Having 3 bedrooms and an unfinished basement makes it perfect to grow into. The location isn't bad and it's closer to family then St. George. But there will be snow! Yuck!

I'm also sad to leave the family and friends I have down here. I feel like, after a year of living in this apartment, that I finally have people I can trust, places I can run to, and a pretty good relationship with my cousins and their families that live here. If we move, are those friendships strong enough to survive?